Cultural Tidbits

1. When asked to sell you some disposable plastic plates, the seller in the market will reach into the bag, take out the plates and will count them out for you. The seller's hands look like they have not seen water in a long, long time.

2. As you reach for a cereal box at a grocery store, a store lady tells you that her isle is getting closed for inventory, and therefore you may not buy the cereal. The cash register remains open.

3. Four words: getting your cheese sliced. I think it was the first time anyone asked them to do that. The poor sales lady looked like she was breaking into sweat as she pushed the cheese through the slicer. After three slices she sighed, turned to me and said, "I don't think it's going to work." I asked to see the fruit of her labor. "Looks good to me," I said. "It does?" she sounded surprised. Back to the slicer she went, and this time another lady came to see what was going on. I think they were both trying to make it work. At some point the first lady was trying to get a small slice that got stuck while the machine was running. The second lady tried to discretely chastise her. I imagined blood sprayed all over my cheese, and thought that maybe I should have not been so demanding and cut the cheese at home. To my relief, there was no injury, and after a few minutes the lady took the cheese to the scale. A third of a pound was much less than I wanted, but I did not find in myself courage to ask her for more. I'll be back.

4. When asked if they carried whole-wheat flour, the sales lady asks you, "What is it?" You feel you will benefit the society if you reduce literacy, and so you spend the next 5-7 minutes explaining how whole wheat flour differs from white flour. The lady then says, "They probably have that in the villages."

5. We called a local internet provider company about getting us connected. The next day the installer called us to make sure we were home. "Should I bring a drill?" he asked. "I don't know," said I. He showed up an hour later with an empty-looking messenger bag. After he inspected our doorposts, we had a small interchange:

-Do you have a screwdriver?
-No.
-Do you have pliers?
-No.
-(mumbles to himself) We'll have to find another way.
-Can I borrow a chair or a stool?
-Sure.

The cable wire went through the doorpost and into the apartment. As they were working on installing Internet, they informed us that they had turned off McAffee updates "because they are expensive to download" (we pay per megabyte of usage). "NO!" said Jamie. They listened.

As they were leaving, the guy mentioned in passing, "You can get cable clips for 5 grivnas ($1)." Needless to say, they did not have them nor did they look like they were going to do anything about yards of cable coiled on the floor in the hallway and living room. After we closed the door behind them, we got out duct tape and secured the cable to the wall and under the loose vinyl floor. Who needs cable clips?!